[ He'd lost Elmott in the crowd, which sounds like it's dying as it screams at the monstrosity in the middle of the amphitheatre, eyes all galaxies and wings all heavenly majesty. But he isn't safe. Divine punishment never promises no pain. Nameless faces contort as they fight the beastly, beautiful appendages crawling under the skin of their backs, bursting forth when they cry with maddening agony. Yan Qing rushes toward the nearest victim before they spill someone's blood on the floor and kicks them down. It's not his fight. He's not that sort of hero. Yet when he sees Elmott—
his master's back, doors closing in, arrows cutting through the wind
His legs move before he can think.
corpses, tears, blood not his ]
Get outta here, El! Go!
[ Yan Qing barks out the order and he's on the battlefield again, outnumbered and outplanned in a battle he didn't choose. Or perhaps it was always a battle he had to fight. The odds are against them now, but there's no point in stopping himself from doing something he'll regret. This time, losing won't be an option.
Halfway, he slows down, limbs and back a sudden weight he has to carry as he crawls toward Elmott and the exit, before the feathers start to manifest... ]
[ one thing's for certain: elmott was not expecting to come back to this from his trip to the bathroom.
he keeps his head down as he pushes through the crowd to look for yan qing, past all the screaming and fighting and the chaos that happens when you shove too many people into one space and give them a reason to be scared. some cry, some freeze in place, some lash out — elmott isn't exempt from it as he intercepts a man about to strike a woman, grabbing his fist to yank it back sharply, kicking his feet out from under him. he watches the wings wilt from his back, sees the crazed glint in his eyes slowly fade as he urges the woman to the exit like he's done for others. what about you? she asks, and he says just go, i gotta find someone.
elmott hears yan qing before he sees him, catches the tail end of his command and does the exact opposite. he fights his way through, squinting at yan qing's hair in the bright light, and almost crashes into someone along the way. as long as he gets to him, it'll be fine. as long as he reaches him, he can make sure he's okay and they can leave this hell space. it's the only thing he thinks about, until he's close enough to see him fall, close enough to see the wings piercing his back before the metallic tang of blood hits his nose. ]
Shin—! [ he clicks his tongue, gritting his teeth as he finally clears the crowd. yan qing crawls towards him and he meets him, hands reaching out for his shoulders in an attempt to steady him. ] Hey, hey, easy. It's me, yeah? It's me. Let's get you outta here, okay?
[For a moment, Yan Qing can't see anything. He is alone. Afraid.
And then he forgets how to be.
He swats Elmott's hand away with a force so sharp, it sends Elmott backwards. Kindness doesn't work the way people think it does. He doesn't trust like that. His clothes shimmer and shift into starlight, clothes of a Nalhegrande fashion replacing the ones he'd soaked in blood. His chest is bare now, the dragon over his heart meeting Elmott's eyes until Yan Qing stands and finally, lifts his gaze. His voice is level.]
Didn't I tell you to leave?
[Light — no, chroma begins charging his gauntlets. He grits his teeth.]
Why does no one listen!
[He strains the last word as he lunges at Elmott and swings at his chest]
[ in hindsight, he should've been prepared for it. he doesn't know what kind of magic is behind the wings suddenly appearing, but it's clear that it does something to everyone's perceptions — makes them more violent, eager to lash out. yan qing's slap knocks him off balance, but elmott manages to catch himself, only stumbling back a few steps. in a fight against yan qing, fair or not, he knows he would never win. he's not strong enough or fast enough, and his magic isn't conducive in close quarter combat.
but he still has to try, doesn't he? ]
Maybe ya should've asked nicer, then-! [ elmott catches yan qing's gauntlet with the gold staff he'd given him, chroma extending it to its full length. with the man from earlier, all it seemed like he had to do was make physical contact and the wings receded. he's not sure if it'll work with yan qing, but it's worth a shot. ] Ain't like you ever listened to me either.
[ he doesn't like the look in his eyes, nor the way the dragon meets his, and everything about him makes his hair stand on end. and maybe this is what yan qing has always tried to warn him about, maybe he should have known better, should have stayed away and left like he'd told him to. but he pushes those thoughts away, gritting his teeth and barely managing to parry the next swing aimed for him. ]
I'm not leaving until you get your head back on right again.
Edited (i can english i swear) 2020-02-03 08:43 (UTC)
[The man cackles, the amusement and mockery palpable in the crisp sound of his laughter. It's different from his usual guffaws, as if they had been squeezed dry until all that was left was the bitter rind. Yan Qing swaggers toward Elmott, fear absent in his knowing smile. Should he engage, the results are clear. His large wings beat once, fanning a small gust that blows across the aisles. Even this much can snuff a fire out.]
That's what they all say, don't they? That I'm-not-leaving-you bullshit. I'll tell you one thing, El.
[Amid the chaos, he is calm. Elmott's shaking, isn't he? Good. That's how it should be.]
You don't get anything from being nice.
[For a split second, it's as if he's disappeared.
Then, before Elmott can blink, Yan Qing delivers a punch to his gut. He doesn't even get to stagger; Yan Qing sends him to the floor with another downward strike.]
[ there's a brief moment where elmott wonders who he's really talking about. who had hurt him in the past to make him think this way? who had offered him a hand only to knock him back down with it? because that's what this is about, isn't it? it takes courage to reach a hand out to someone, just as much as it does to take it.
but if there's one thing he's learned from his time with the crew, from his time at the academy, it's that true kindness is continuing to reach out anyway despite the consequences.
yan qing was already fast before, but it's as if he's gotten twice as fast now. elmott takes the full force of the punch and gets the breath knocked out of him, barely sees yan qing move his hand to knock him to the ground. he lands on his side, breathing shallowly as he picks himself back up on his feet, spitting out blood that pooled in his mouth. ]
Who said I wanted anything, huh? [ he doesn't know where his staff is, but he doubts it can really help him now. he doesn't know what he's going to do — maybe he will meet his end here, foolishly thinking he could save yan qing from whatever is happening. but rather than be frightened by the prospect, he feels steadier than he's ever been. regret would be turning around and running away, something he's never done in his life and certainly not something he'd do now. ] You think I expect you to give me shit?
[ he masks his cough with a snort. rather than tensing up to expect yan qing's next blow, he keeps himself loose and open. ]
[For what feels like the first time since his arrival, the words hit a nerve.
For the first time since their first meeting, Yan Qing is quiet.]
Shut up.
[He shoves Elmott's face to the floor, uncertain if he heard Elmott's nose break. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters now, of course, when you've given someone everything and it still isn't enough to have them. To save them.]
[The next time Elmott sees Yan Qing, it is when he lifts him by the hair, holds him by the jaw. He is crouched in front of his body, looking at Elmott up close like a pretty thing, shiny and red from all the blood. For an old soul to be so foolish, Elmott surprises Yan Qing in all sorts of ways. It's disappointing, it's intriguing, but most of all, it's funny. He can't help himself.]
...Haha. You see, El? This is what happens to morons who wanna play hero. There's nothing for you here. You'd just be saving someone who didn't deserve it.
[ he manages to turn his head at the last second, his cheek and temple hitting the ground instead of his nose. he's already having a hard time catching his breath, a broken nose would just make matters worse, and his grunt of pain doesn't leave the hard clench of his teeth. blood trickles down the side of his face when yan qing lifts him up, getting in his eyes and his mouth, filling his nose with nothing but the metallic edge of it. but he keeps looking at yan qing anyway, blinking past the blood and the dizziness; if this were any other situation, he'd be embarrassed by how close they are, enough that he can feel yan qing's breath on his face as he holds his jaw in the way a lover would, warm and intimate. ]
How many times do I gotta tell you? I ain't a hero.
[ his hands reach up to grip yan qing's wrist firmly despite how wrecked he feels, beneath the bright light that makes him squint. he remembers another night, not at all like this, but it swims to the forefront of his mind anyway —
"i guess i'm looking out for you too, so you're just gonna have to deal with it." "you're a really interesting guy, you know that?" ]
[His grip tightens, steel digging into the flesh of Elmott's cheek as he takes in a sharp breath. I'll look out for you — that's just a thing people say. And people have already said this a hundred, a thousand times before, but Yan Qing can never quite convince himself that it's true. How should one bring himself to trust another, anyway? Time? He's wasted enough years to know it doesn't work that way.
His next declaration is a whisper that barely contains his anger.]
I'll kill you.
[Because it's easier that way. He considers letting Elmott live and he grits his teeth just thinking about it. He can't live with another mistake. If Elmott saves him now, who's to say that things will stay the same?]
I'll fucking kill you.
[If Elmott saves him now, the debt would be far too great to bear.]
[ the steel of the gauntlet digs into his cheek and elmott smiles, too much teeth for it to be nice. one hand slides up yan qing's wrist until he feels his fingers, pushes them harder into his flesh. ]
Kill me, if that'll make you snap outta this. [ his voice is much steadier than he feels, and his pulse thrums in his veins, loud in his ears. ] But get this through that thick skull of yours, Shin.
[ elmott isn't a betting man, but he trusts his instincts. and it's instinct that makes him reach up with his other hand to slide his fingers through yan qing's long hair, as soft and smooth as he imagined it to be. ]
Yan Qing's balance lasts as long as his eyes stay open, the shock with him until his eyes flutter shut and he lets it happen. It's not the best. Elmott is clumsy and the taste of blood on his lips only tell Yan Qing what he's done, but it is a kiss, and he doesn't want to think. He's lightheaded, mind aching and empty as the chroma courses through his veins and takes the seraphim's anger away. What was the last thing he said? His thoughts can barely compete with the beat of his heart in his ears. But he had barely even fought, hadn't he? The wings fold as they recede into his back, growing smaller and smaller until all that's left are the wounds below his shoulder blades and the consciousness he is trying to grasp.]
El... mott?
[It's his turn to take Elmott's wrist, his shaking breath tickling Elmott's lips.]
What are you...? Ah...
[Yan Qing pulls Elmott into his arms to feel his warmth and confirm it himself. Elmott's alive. The madness that had seized him earlier is no longer there to tell him he shouldn't be — at a cost. He sees Elmott's condition, all black and red and blue, and he realizes he's done it again. Not the violence, but the failure of protecting someone who gave a damn. Relief and remorse have his heart like a vice, and the tears are there before Yan Qing can stop them.]
[ it's not the best. it's rushed and bloody and desperate, elmott's eyes squeezed shut as he holds the kiss and his breath for as long as he can. he doesn't know the first thing about kissing, but he knows that it's not supposed to be like this: used as a last ditch effort to save yan qing and himself. but he's out of ideas and if he's going to die, he may as well die trying.
but all of that doesn't matter once he hears yan qing's voice — the one he recognizes instead of that cold and angry one from before. yan qing pulls him close and elmott goes willingly, like a puppet with its strings cut, and sheer relief coaxes a wheezing little laugh out of him that's muffled against yan qing's chest. tension bleeds out of his frame despite the pain he can feel everywhere, but it doesn't matter. nothing matters except that yan qing is back and he's alive, somehow, and they can finally get out of here. ]
Dumbass, [ it's rasped out, but his tone is much too soft for it to be an insult. he lifts his head just enough to see yan qing, but then he closes his eyes again when he realizes he's seeing two of him instead of one. ] Quit apologizing and help me up.
[He's the dumbass, Yan Qing thinks, but he doesn't fight it. He did that already. Instead, he nods and wipes his tears with his arm, then looks away under the present of looking for Elmott's staff. He finds it under a chair and presses it into Elmott's hand. If anything, Yan Qing's glad he didn't give the fight his all. Maybe some part of his crazed self knew Elmott couldn't win. Not without his flames.
Why didn't he use his flames...?
Elmott is light in Yan Qing arms when he carries him. It's not exactly what he asked him to do, but he knows it's better than having him limp across the amphitheatre.]
[ his fingers close around the staff when he feels it pressed into his hands, shrinking back down to its normal size. elmott registers yan qing picking him up with the shift of gravity, and he's too tired to protest against it. as they make their way across the deserted arena, he takes stock of his injuries, presses his free hand against his sides to check his ribs for damage. he feels like he got his entire abdomen ripped out, but he can't find anything broken at the moment; he thinks it might be thanks to yan qing holding back, and he's grateful for it, even though he was stupid to try and fight him anyway.
but there wasn't anything else he could do. elmott thinks back to the panic he felt when he saw the wings sprouting from his back, and he knows he would have done the same thing. ]
Do me a favor? [ he opens one eye once they make it outside, head pillowed on yan qing's shoulder and feeling like he could fall asleep at any moment. ] Take me back to my place. The clinics are probably full.
Tch, [ elmott doesn't bother to hide his own smile, a small, tired thing as he closes his eyes again. ] Been dealing with you since I got to this dump, haven't I?
[ it's only been a handful of months at best, but it feels like so long ago since the night they first met. ]
I'm still here. A while longer ain't gonna make a difference.
[His lips part, and if Elmott could see them, he would even say they quivered, but Yan Qing doesn't say a word. For once, he believes it.
They arrive at Elmott's apartment without incident. After that stunt, Yan Qing wasn't sure he'd be welcome here again either, but here he was, laying Elmott on the couch and examining his wounds. His gauntlets disappear into what looks like stardust as he reaches out to brush Elmott's bangs aside, and he almost can't believe he did this much. With the surge of emotion he felt the second the seraphim struck, he honestly expected more.]
Damn... Okay, don't move. Let's getcha cleaned up first, yeah? Stay where you are.
[He looks for the things he needs, and it doesn't take him long to come back and get to work. He doesn't panic. He's done this before.]
[ it's hard not to doze off while yan qing is carrying him. it's funny, how he was literally getting his ass kicked by him not that long ago and now he's taking him home. there's probably something to be said about that, and probably something to be said about how relaxed he feels at the moment, trusting yan qing to get them back without any further trouble.
he keeps drifting back to when he'd pulled him close and the crush of his mouth against yan qing's; a part of him wonders if maybe he should make up for it somehow, insist that it was just to wake yan qing up instead of anything deeper than that. but elmott knows himself and he knows he's an awful liar. he told yan qing he's still here and he meant it in every sense — he never goes back on his word.
a shimmer of light flickers behind his eyelids and elmott opens his eyes slowly to see the gauntlets fading away, registering the familiar walls of his apartment afterward. now that he's lying down, he feels a little less lightheaded, a little more coherent as he makes a soft grunt of an acknowledgement before yan qing disappears. he makes an attempt to sit up and immediately regrets it, tucking a pillow behind him instead to prop himself up. ]
How's it look?
[ this isn't the worst damage he's been dealt, but he knows it's not very good either. for now, he lets yan qing handle it, staying still as his eyes slip shut once more. ]
[He musters up his usual self; the last thing Elmott needs to do is worry about him. Now's not the time to think about the lingering taste of blood on his lips or who's thinking of what. They have more important things to do. Surviving is one of them. So is paying back a debt.
He knows what Elmott said, but he still...]
...You're still a looker. Don't worry about it. [Elmott could be worse. If he can laugh, that's a good sign. Yan Qing dips a piece of cotton in the solution.] Now clench your teeth. This might sting.
[With that warning, he begins to dab at the fresh wounds on Elmott's face.]
[ he's chuckling though, wincing just a little bit at the pain in his stomach. but it helps to alleviate whatever concerns he had; this is familiar, comfortable, and maybe yan qing is doing it for his sake, but he's grateful for it all the same.
elmott turns his head a little towards him to make it easier, ears flattening against his head at the first dab of cotton on his cheek. it's more cold than anything else — the sting hardly registers more than just an uncomfortable prickly feeling, and he bears it quietly until yan qing is finished.
eventually, after he's moved from the cuts on his face to the ones along the side of his head, he speaks up again. ]
... Thanks, [ he starts, already feeling silly for it. ] For staying. You didn't have to clean me up.
[He huffs. Between the flattening of Elmott's ears and his words of gratitude, Yan Qing is relieved to find that things have stayed the same. He doesn't know what he'd do if Elmott had been quick to leave him for good, but he supposes he would have moved on just as fast. That's how it always is with him, despite everything. But right now, when Elmott shows himself at his most vulnerable, Yan Qing doesn't even want to think about that.
When he speaks, his voice is uncharacteristically soft. Gentle.]
Didn't have to. Just wanted to. Like what you did back there, right?
[As Yan Qing pushes Elmott's bangs up to reach a wound on his temple, he's feeling shy all of a sudden. It's not like him to be when he's all smiles and confidence, so he pushes onward. Back to the usual. There are things he has to say now before he has any regrets.]
[ elmott has no doubts that yan qing would move on quickly if he decided to leave, just as he knows he wouldn't be capable of the same. as much as he tries not to care, the fact of the matter is that he does, almost too much. it's gotten worse since he started teaching; he's forgotten how to just leave people be, to not get involved and invested, to not take responsibility for anything. he can't let go as easily as he used to, and sometimes that still keeps him up at night: he has more to lose now.
but it's not like he has a choice anymore, does he? he's accepted it — the weight of that responsibility and everything that comes with it. even if it kills him in the end. ]
I meant what I said, you know. [ yan qing's tone is as gentle as his touch against his temple, and elmott finds it difficult to maintain eye contact as one moment stretches into two. ] You don't owe me anything. I'm not gonna stop.
[ reminding him, believing in him. elmott doesn't think he needs to say as much for yan qing to know; he feels like he probably said too much already, but since he's here now, he might as well go all in. ]
There is a long pause when lifts the cotton from Elmott's wounds. He wants to look at him the way he is now and burn it into memory — scars, bruises and all. This is what he's willing to put himself through. All this for a nobody he's only known for a month or two. He really doesn't get it. What did he do to make Elmott go so far. Stupid. Moron. This pause isn't for himself anymore.
Elmott needs to focus.]
Yan Qing. That's my real name.
[He rests his chin on his hands flat on the couch, peering at Elmott with a little more affection.]
... Well, you're from another world, so it doesn't mean anything to you. Ah, but if it did, I wonder if you'd do the same thing. I guess you would. [He sighs.] You're way too soft.
[ it's fine if yan qing doesn't understand — elmott doesn't really understand it himself either, how he'd changed so much in such a short amount of time; how he's grown to care this much about yan qing when it's just been a few months since they met. he doesn't know how it started, doesn't know what the catalyst was that led him to this moment, but maybe there's just people out there that he was meant to connect with. like djeeta, like tsubasa, like yan qing. they've all impacted his life in some way or another, expanded his world to encompass more than just himself. he doesn't feel remorse or regret sitting on his couch beaten up and bruised in front of yan qing, and he knows that, given the choice, he'd likely do the same thing again.
but anyway, ]
I knew you weren't Shin, sorta from Shinjuku. [ it's a little anticlimactic in a way, but it's only because he had a feeling from the start. he just never felt right about pushing him for it. ] Yan Qing, huh? [ he says it slow, feels the way his mouth shapes the syllables and vowels. ] It suits you.
And you ain't in a position to be judgin', so I'd shut it if I were you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jan 2020 event because I'm too lazy to make this a proper log
his master's back, doors closing in, arrows cutting through the wind
His legs move before he can think.
corpses, tears, blood not his ]
Get outta here, El! Go!
[ Yan Qing barks out the order and he's on the battlefield again, outnumbered and outplanned in a battle he didn't choose. Or perhaps it was always a battle he had to fight. The odds are against them now, but there's no point in stopping himself from doing something he'll regret. This time, losing won't be an option.
Halfway, he slows down, limbs and back a sudden weight he has to carry as he crawls toward Elmott and the exit, before the feathers start to manifest... ]
im already dying
he keeps his head down as he pushes through the crowd to look for yan qing, past all the screaming and fighting and the chaos that happens when you shove too many people into one space and give them a reason to be scared. some cry, some freeze in place, some lash out — elmott isn't exempt from it as he intercepts a man about to strike a woman, grabbing his fist to yank it back sharply, kicking his feet out from under him. he watches the wings wilt from his back, sees the crazed glint in his eyes slowly fade as he urges the woman to the exit like he's done for others. what about you? she asks, and he says just go, i gotta find someone.
elmott hears yan qing before he sees him, catches the tail end of his command and does the exact opposite. he fights his way through, squinting at yan qing's hair in the bright light, and almost crashes into someone along the way. as long as he gets to him, it'll be fine. as long as he reaches him, he can make sure he's okay and they can leave this hell space. it's the only thing he thinks about, until he's close enough to see him fall, close enough to see the wings piercing his back before the metallic tang of blood hits his nose. ]
Shin—! [ he clicks his tongue, gritting his teeth as he finally clears the crowd. yan qing crawls towards him and he meets him, hands reaching out for his shoulders in an attempt to steady him. ] Hey, hey, easy. It's me, yeah? It's me. Let's get you outta here, okay?
i died three days ago and came back to life
And then he forgets how to be.
He swats Elmott's hand away with a force so sharp, it sends Elmott backwards. Kindness doesn't work the way people think it does. He doesn't trust like that. His clothes shimmer and shift into starlight, clothes of a Nalhegrande fashion replacing the ones he'd soaked in blood. His chest is bare now, the dragon over his heart meeting Elmott's eyes until Yan Qing stands and finally, lifts his gaze. His voice is level.]
Didn't I tell you to leave?
[Light — no, chroma begins charging his gauntlets. He grits his teeth.]
Why does no one listen!
[He strains the last word as he lunges at Elmott and swings at his chest]
no subject
but he still has to try, doesn't he? ]
Maybe ya should've asked nicer, then-! [ elmott catches yan qing's gauntlet with the gold staff he'd given him, chroma extending it to its full length. with the man from earlier, all it seemed like he had to do was make physical contact and the wings receded. he's not sure if it'll work with yan qing, but it's worth a shot. ] Ain't like you ever listened to me either.
[ he doesn't like the look in his eyes, nor the way the dragon meets his, and everything about him makes his hair stand on end. and maybe this is what yan qing has always tried to warn him about, maybe he should have known better, should have stayed away and left like he'd told him to. but he pushes those thoughts away, gritting his teeth and barely managing to parry the next swing aimed for him. ]
I'm not leaving until you get your head back on right again.
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That's what they all say, don't they? That I'm-not-leaving-you bullshit. I'll tell you one thing, El.
[Amid the chaos, he is calm. Elmott's shaking, isn't he? Good. That's how it should be.]
You don't get anything from being nice.
[For a split second, it's as if he's disappeared.
Then, before Elmott can blink, Yan Qing delivers a punch to his gut. He doesn't even get to stagger; Yan Qing sends him to the floor with another downward strike.]
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but if there's one thing he's learned from his time with the crew, from his time at the academy, it's that true kindness is continuing to reach out anyway despite the consequences.
yan qing was already fast before, but it's as if he's gotten twice as fast now. elmott takes the full force of the punch and gets the breath knocked out of him, barely sees yan qing move his hand to knock him to the ground. he lands on his side, breathing shallowly as he picks himself back up on his feet, spitting out blood that pooled in his mouth. ]
Who said I wanted anything, huh? [ he doesn't know where his staff is, but he doubts it can really help him now. he doesn't know what he's going to do — maybe he will meet his end here, foolishly thinking he could save yan qing from whatever is happening. but rather than be frightened by the prospect, he feels steadier than he's ever been. regret would be turning around and running away, something he's never done in his life and certainly not something he'd do now. ] You think I expect you to give me shit?
[ he masks his cough with a snort. rather than tensing up to expect yan qing's next blow, he keeps himself loose and open. ]
Get real. You ain't that generous.
1/2
For the first time since their first meeting, Yan Qing is quiet.]
Shut up.
[He shoves Elmott's face to the floor, uncertain if he heard Elmott's nose break. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters now, of course, when you've given someone everything and it still isn't enough to have them. To save them.]
no subject
...Haha. You see, El? This is what happens to morons who wanna play hero. There's nothing for you here. You'd just be saving someone who didn't deserve it.
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How many times do I gotta tell you? I ain't a hero.
[ his hands reach up to grip yan qing's wrist firmly despite how wrecked he feels, beneath the bright light that makes him squint. he remembers another night, not at all like this, but it swims to the forefront of his mind anyway —
"i guess i'm looking out for you too, so you're just gonna have to deal with it."
"you're a really interesting guy, you know that?" ]
... I said I'd look out for you, didn't I?
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His next declaration is a whisper that barely contains his anger.]
I'll kill you.
[Because it's easier that way. He considers letting Elmott live and he grits his teeth just thinking about it. He can't live with another mistake. If Elmott saves him now, who's to say that things will stay the same?]
I'll fucking kill you.
[If Elmott saves him now, the debt would be far too great to bear.]
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[ the steel of the gauntlet digs into his cheek and elmott smiles, too much teeth for it to be nice. one hand slides up yan qing's wrist until he feels his fingers, pushes them harder into his flesh. ]
Kill me, if that'll make you snap outta this. [ his voice is much steadier than he feels, and his pulse thrums in his veins, loud in his ears. ] But get this through that thick skull of yours, Shin.
[ elmott isn't a betting man, but he trusts his instincts. and it's instinct that makes him reach up with his other hand to slide his fingers through yan qing's long hair, as soft and smooth as he imagined it to be. ]
You don't owe me anything.
[ elmott pulls him forward and kisses him. ]
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Yan Qing's balance lasts as long as his eyes stay open, the shock with him until his eyes flutter shut and he lets it happen. It's not the best. Elmott is clumsy and the taste of blood on his lips only tell Yan Qing what he's done, but it is a kiss, and he doesn't want to think. He's lightheaded, mind aching and empty as the chroma courses through his veins and takes the seraphim's anger away. What was the last thing he said? His thoughts can barely compete with the beat of his heart in his ears. But he had barely even fought, hadn't he? The wings fold as they recede into his back, growing smaller and smaller until all that's left are the wounds below his shoulder blades and the consciousness he is trying to grasp.]
El... mott?
[It's his turn to take Elmott's wrist, his shaking breath tickling Elmott's lips.]
What are you...? Ah...
[Yan Qing pulls Elmott into his arms to feel his warmth and confirm it himself. Elmott's alive. The madness that had seized him earlier is no longer there to tell him he shouldn't be — at a cost. He sees Elmott's condition, all black and red and blue, and he realizes he's done it again. Not the violence, but the failure of protecting someone who gave a damn. Relief and remorse have his heart like a vice, and the tears are there before Yan Qing can stop them.]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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but all of that doesn't matter once he hears yan qing's voice — the one he recognizes instead of that cold and angry one from before. yan qing pulls him close and elmott goes willingly, like a puppet with its strings cut, and sheer relief coaxes a wheezing little laugh out of him that's muffled against yan qing's chest. tension bleeds out of his frame despite the pain he can feel everywhere, but it doesn't matter. nothing matters except that yan qing is back and he's alive, somehow, and they can finally get out of here. ]
Dumbass, [ it's rasped out, but his tone is much too soft for it to be an insult. he lifts his head just enough to see yan qing, but then he closes his eyes again when he realizes he's seeing two of him instead of one. ] Quit apologizing and help me up.
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Why didn't he use his flames...?
Elmott is light in Yan Qing arms when he carries him. It's not exactly what he asked him to do, but he knows it's better than having him limp across the amphitheatre.]
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but there wasn't anything else he could do. elmott thinks back to the panic he felt when he saw the wings sprouting from his back, and he knows he would have done the same thing. ]
Do me a favor? [ he opens one eye once they make it outside, head pillowed on yan qing's shoulder and feeling like he could fall asleep at any moment. ] Take me back to my place. The clinics are probably full.
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You sure about that? That means you gotta deal with me.
[And he's sure Elmott thinks he's better off without him around.]
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[ it's only been a handful of months at best, but it feels like so long ago since the night they first met. ]
I'm still here. A while longer ain't gonna make a difference.
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They arrive at Elmott's apartment without incident. After that stunt, Yan Qing wasn't sure he'd be welcome here again either, but here he was, laying Elmott on the couch and examining his wounds. His gauntlets disappear into what looks like stardust as he reaches out to brush Elmott's bangs aside, and he almost can't believe he did this much. With the surge of emotion he felt the second the seraphim struck, he honestly expected more.]
Damn... Okay, don't move. Let's getcha cleaned up first, yeah? Stay where you are.
[He looks for the things he needs, and it doesn't take him long to come back and get to work. He doesn't panic. He's done this before.]
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he keeps drifting back to when he'd pulled him close and the crush of his mouth against yan qing's; a part of him wonders if maybe he should make up for it somehow, insist that it was just to wake yan qing up instead of anything deeper than that. but elmott knows himself and he knows he's an awful liar. he told yan qing he's still here and he meant it in every sense — he never goes back on his word.
a shimmer of light flickers behind his eyelids and elmott opens his eyes slowly to see the gauntlets fading away, registering the familiar walls of his apartment afterward. now that he's lying down, he feels a little less lightheaded, a little more coherent as he makes a soft grunt of an acknowledgement before yan qing disappears. he makes an attempt to sit up and immediately regrets it, tucking a pillow behind him instead to prop himself up. ]
How's it look?
[ this isn't the worst damage he's been dealt, but he knows it's not very good either. for now, he lets yan qing handle it, staying still as his eyes slip shut once more. ]
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He knows what Elmott said, but he still...]
...You're still a looker. Don't worry about it. [Elmott could be worse. If he can laugh, that's a good sign. Yan Qing dips a piece of cotton in the solution.] Now clench your teeth. This might sting.
[With that warning, he begins to dab at the fresh wounds on Elmott's face.]
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[ he's chuckling though, wincing just a little bit at the pain in his stomach. but it helps to alleviate whatever concerns he had; this is familiar, comfortable, and maybe yan qing is doing it for his sake, but he's grateful for it all the same.
elmott turns his head a little towards him to make it easier, ears flattening against his head at the first dab of cotton on his cheek. it's more cold than anything else — the sting hardly registers more than just an uncomfortable prickly feeling, and he bears it quietly until yan qing is finished.
eventually, after he's moved from the cuts on his face to the ones along the side of his head, he speaks up again. ]
... Thanks, [ he starts, already feeling silly for it. ] For staying. You didn't have to clean me up.
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When he speaks, his voice is uncharacteristically soft. Gentle.]
Didn't have to. Just wanted to. Like what you did back there, right?
[As Yan Qing pushes Elmott's bangs up to reach a wound on his temple, he's feeling shy all of a sudden. It's not like him to be when he's all smiles and confidence, so he pushes onward. Back to the usual. There are things he has to say now before he has any regrets.]
So... thanks. For believing in me.
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but it's not like he has a choice anymore, does he? he's accepted it — the weight of that responsibility and everything that comes with it. even if it kills him in the end. ]
I meant what I said, you know. [ yan qing's tone is as gentle as his touch against his temple, and elmott finds it difficult to maintain eye contact as one moment stretches into two. ] You don't owe me anything. I'm not gonna stop.
[ reminding him, believing in him. elmott doesn't think he needs to say as much for yan qing to know; he feels like he probably said too much already, but since he's here now, he might as well go all in. ]
I'm here 'cause I wanna be. Got it?
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Why? 'Cause I'm cute and funny?
[It's a joke.
Maybe.
There is a long pause when lifts the cotton from Elmott's wounds. He wants to look at him the way he is now and burn it into memory — scars, bruises and all. This is what he's willing to put himself through. All this for a nobody he's only known for a month or two. He really doesn't get it. What did he do to make Elmott go so far. Stupid. Moron. This pause isn't for himself anymore.
Elmott needs to focus.]
Yan Qing. That's my real name.
[He rests his chin on his hands flat on the couch, peering at Elmott with a little more affection.]
... Well, you're from another world, so it doesn't mean anything to you. Ah, but if it did, I wonder if you'd do the same thing. I guess you would. [He sighs.] You're way too soft.
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[ it's fine if yan qing doesn't understand — elmott doesn't really understand it himself either, how he'd changed so much in such a short amount of time; how he's grown to care this much about yan qing when it's just been a few months since they met. he doesn't know how it started, doesn't know what the catalyst was that led him to this moment, but maybe there's just people out there that he was meant to connect with. like djeeta, like tsubasa, like yan qing. they've all impacted his life in some way or another, expanded his world to encompass more than just himself. he doesn't feel remorse or regret sitting on his couch beaten up and bruised in front of yan qing, and he knows that, given the choice, he'd likely do the same thing again.
but anyway, ]
I knew you weren't Shin, sorta from Shinjuku. [ it's a little anticlimactic in a way, but it's only because he had a feeling from the start. he just never felt right about pushing him for it. ] Yan Qing, huh? [ he says it slow, feels the way his mouth shapes the syllables and vowels. ] It suits you.
And you ain't in a position to be judgin', so I'd shut it if I were you.
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time to be REALLY STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate this
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