[ he's always been the one running after everyone, always making sure they're okay. he goes off to protect them on his own despite how he tells them to ask for help when they need it. maybe he should learn to take his own advice sometimes. ]
You say I got you, but you're taking on everything yourself. [ he moves back just enough to see yan qing's face, tucks an errant lock of hair behind his ear. ] That ain't fair either. If you're gonna protect me, you gotta let me do the same for you too.
[ he sighs, expression too fond for it to really mean anything. but his chest aches at the way yan qing asks him, the open expression of surprise on his face. ]
It wasn't your fault, all right? So quit trying to blame yourself all the time.
[When Elmott says those words, suddenly, it's easier to breathe. The ache in his throat and chest are still there, but he holds his hand and Elmott looks at him like he's worth it, and he feels the world take him into its arms, tucking Yan Qing into a place where he can fit next to him. Curses are not in Elmott's repertoire, but Yan Qing is sure he'd just broken a spell, freeing him from the chains he'd bound himself with so long ago. Now, he is free.
He is free, and he is loved.]
Thank you. [His voice cracks.] Thank you... You don't know how much that means to me.
[Soft lips gingerly press against Elmott's knuckles, his words barely above a whisper as he shows Elmott a smile of newfound warmth.]
he watches yan qing's lips brush his knuckles almost in slow motion and can't seem to pull away in time despite it happening in front of him. the kiss sends sparks straight up his hand and his arm, and he doesn't know if it's the chroma or something else but it makes his entire face flame up, his heart jumping right into his throat. it's too much, the way yan qing smiles at him, the things he says; the promise that he makes. elmott has never expected anything from anyone, he knows how he is, but the amount of sincerity in yan qing's voice makes him feel lightheaded all over again. ]
You don't need to do that either, [ he manages eventually, rubbing his face with his free hand in an effort to cool off. ] Look, all that stuff about how you don't deserve kindness or whatever? How you owe me for doing what I did? That's all bullshit. Don't tell me what to do. And I'll roast your ass if I ever catch you thinking it again, got it?
[So it was this. This was the kind of thing he was looking for. Unabashed. Unconditional. Maybe one day, Elmott will grow tired of his company, but right now, he can't see it happening. There are stars in his eyes, and though Elmott has a hand over his face, Yan Qing can't bring himself to look anywhere else. For once, it's not about how much he owes or what he deserves now.]
I think I might miss you, though.
[Until Elmott tells him to, he won't let go of his hand.]
[ only yan qing can make him say that and it somehow comes out like a term of endearment rather than an insult. but elmott doesn't let go either and the fluttery feeling in his chest remains, even after he pulls yan qing up onto the couch next to him with a quiet c'mere, wrapping his free arm around him to pull him close. he remembers closing his eyes, but he doesn't remember falling asleep until the sun filters through the blinds and hits him square in the face the next morning.
he wakes up alone, yan qing switched out for one of his pillows instead. it doesn't hurt anymore when he tries to sit up though, and when he checks out his injuries in the bathroom, there's nothing but a few faint scars left.
he debates with himself for at least five minutes, but eventually he does end up sending a text, ]
[As soon as Elmott send his text, another phone in the vicinity buzzes immediately. How odd! In fact, he can also hear the sound of something cooking in that direction. Also in said direction is a lively melody sang by a talented singer, his notes round compared to the sharp sizzling of what smells like bacon filling the air. The radio is also on, though at a lower volume. Why? Well...]
Cooking, cooking at Elmott's place~ Second best to~ [hold on let him text before flipping the bacon] Sleeping at Elmott's place~
he had the bathroom door closed and jumped in the shower immediately so he wouldn't have to feel weird about waiting to see if yan qing would text him back or not. so much happened yesterday, none of it actually feels real. it's only until he picks up on the scent of bacon that makes him pause, and then squint in the direction of his kitchen. ]
No.
[ anyway, he's showered and changed and already has a cigarette in his mouth when he makes his way to the little kitchen, pausing in the doorway once he catches sight of yan qing. it takes him a second to realize he's the one cooking, and that he has a really nice singing voice... and that if this is actually a dream, he doesn't mind staying asleep for a while longer. it's hard not to smile. ]
Who said you could use my kitchen, huh?
[ he comes up behind yan qing to steal a piece of bacon, not even bothered by the heat when he pops it in his mouth. ]
[He doesn't jolt in surprise when Elmott sneaks up behind him. It's not his house, and he figured the man would wake up eventually. He knows this, but he doesn't stop him.]
Ahhh, don't eat that! [Yet he lets Elmott eat the crunchy piece of bacon, only waving the spatula as he scolds him.] If your tongue gets burnt before you get a taste of my stupidly delicious cooking, that ain't on me.
[His voice tickles his ear despite the distance, and that's when Yan Qing is made acutely aware of how tall Elmott is. He always has his back slouched, and they'd always been sitting down whenever they'd ride his bike, so Yan Qing hadn't quite noticed until now. Even as the scent of breakfast wafts across the room, he can smell Elmott's shampoo—
Well, anyway.]
You oughta thank me! [In petty revenge, he swipes Elmott's cigarette and puts it between his own lips.] Judgin' by the looks of this place, it ain't everyday you get someone to cook for ya. I used to work in a mansion, you know. My recipes are high class! Iiii just don't wanna cook if I can help it. Now siddown. Breakfast's the most important meal of the day!
[The bacon goes onto their plates, already decorated with pieces of toast and two sunny-side up eggs, and he serves them both on the small table Elmott has propped up.]
[ this might be where, if taiga was here, he'd say something like, would you kiss it better? but taiga is unfortunately (or fortunately) not here, so. he doesn't.
elmott leans against the counter next to him while he cooks, hiding his smile under the guise of chewing on that crispy piece of bacon. he doesn't usually have someone cooking for him, so it's... nice, in a way, that yan qing wanted to do it on his own volition. but maybe the simpler answer is that he just likes the way yan qing looks in his kitchen and how he fills the negative space, bringing more color and vibrancy into his apartment since he moved in the first day. ]
All right, master chef. No one's doubting you.
[ besides, he can tell just from the smell alone that it's good. or maybe it's just because it was made by yan qing. by the time the food is served, elmott has tea ready, and it all feels very domestic — much more intimate than sharing meals with the crew. the embarrassment he'd normally have is undermined by how unexpectedly nice it all is, and he figures he might as well enjoy it for as long as he can. ]
It's good, though. [ the table is small enough that if elmott stretches out his legs, his knee would easily brush yan qing's. he tries not to think about it too much. ] Why don't you wanna cook?
[He takes a drag before setting the cigarette down on a nearby ashtray, then takes his apron (Elmott's apron) off and hangs it wherever the room allows. Yan Qing's back to wearing the clothes he had when he first stepped into the amphitheatre, pressed and clean. Strangely, it's as if he'd never even gotten those wings...]
'Cause it's a pain in the ass, duh.
[Yan Qing usually eats a little faster than Elmott does, but today he paces himself. He takes a little bite of his toast, takes a little bit of his egg. It's all for show in the end; Servants don't require food to sustain themselves anyway. But if it makes Elmott feel at ease, he'll gladly take his time. It seems to be working, and it's not just Elmott who feels that way.
He takes a bite, and in his delight, bumps knees with Elmott in the process.]
Oh, you're right! Hehe. [He was praised...] I don't need to eat, anyway. I eat whatever I want whenever I want.
[ it's almost like nothing happened yesterday— like he didn't get those wings, like he wasn't trying to bring yan qing back from whatever was happening back at the tournament. if it weren't for the faint scars still on his body, he wouldn't have believed it himself.
but it's there in the way yan qing's knee bumps against his, in the way he takes his time today despite the fact he doesn't need to. ]
Thanks for the meal, then.
[ it's not the first time they've eaten together, but it's the first time yan qing's made him anything. and maybe that says something too, something that makes his chest tighten again in the same sort of way yan qing has always made him feel.
he lets his knee linger against yan qing's, swallows down the bacon and the egg and the weird fluttery feeling. ]
[Everything's going so well. Elmott rests against Yan Qing a little longer than usual and Yan Qing's trying not to let it affect the way he speaks. He's not used to this, the subtle shows of affection that he doesn't make. Between the comfort Elmott gives and the unfamiliarity of the situation, Yan Qing thinks he could mess up at any moment.
[ everything's going so well, it's nice and comfortable and their knees are touching under the table. very sweet, almost romantic, even. but elmott is not prepared for yan qing's answer and had taken that moment to take a sip of his tea.
so he chokes on it, and manages to avoid getting it on yan qing and instead gets it all over the remains of his breakfast. nailed it. ]
[ sometimes it's hard to tell whether or not yq is just teasing him or if he's actually telling the truth; this is one of those times. elmott's face is an unsurprising shade of red that matches his hair, his expression caught between annoyance and embarrassment as he tries to pull himself together again. ]
No. [ he is going to steal a piece of toast off yan qing's plate tho. he deserves this ok. ] Quit messin' with me.
[And he lets him steal it, because that's fair. Like he said, he doesn't need it. He's satisfied with simply watching Elmott eat and get flustered at the mention of, well. That.]
Aww. But you got excited, didn't you? That's nasty, El. Hahahaha! [literally just make him shut up please] ...I don't think I ever told you what I am. You know about familiars, doncha?
[ he chews the toast with a little more hostility than necessary, willing his face to cool down. it doesn't really work but he's trying. more importantly, what yq says is a good distraction at least. ]
Not that much, but yeah. [ like anila's sheep maybe?? ] Is that what you are?
Something like that. [He takes a sip of his tea.] I'm a Servant. Hmm, how do I put it... A Servant can be aaaanything from history or myth brought to life. Usually, mages summon these types to duke it out in wars, and they're pretty high-level, you know? But my circumstances are a bit different this time around. In other words, I ain't human and it's a miracle I ain't dead yet.
[He leans back.]
But Servants are pretty strong... I can't imagine why a mage would risk their life to go up against one. [hint hint]
Edited (ehhhhh adds to this) 2020-02-07 01:14 (UTC)
So they summon you to fight their battles for them?
[ it's clear that he doesn't seem to be a fan of it, but mages come in all types. it's not his place to pass judgement on magic he isn't familiar with. but that doesn't mean he has to like it. ]
Yeah, well. [ wow don't call him out like this?? ] Not all mages are the same. Some are dumber than the rest.
Do I know it, haha! [Then, with a hint of playfulness in his smile:] I kinda like the dumb ones, though.
Well... This time around, we're fighting something even greater. Billions of lives are at stake and all that. But I'm here for the time being, so until I go back... I gotta make the most of this, I guess.
[This, meaning this particular moment, the momentary warmth — everything. Before he has to go back to the cold reality of the Lostbelts, he has to try and commit everything here to memory.]
Haha. Sorry, that's pretty heavy for breakfast conversation, ain't it? Why don't we talk about something else?
I said before you could get as real as you want, remember?
[ but that sounds familiar, if only because that's a regular day in the life of djeeta's crew. something is always threatening the skies and it's up to the singularity to save the sky dwellers, etc. but elmott had chose this of his own volition, from what it sounds like, yan qing didn't have that luxury.
he picks at the leftovers of yan qing's plate, tapping the side of his foot against yan qing's shin without really thinking about it. ]
... You ever thought of staying here, if you could have that choice?
[He doesn't know. He doesn't want to think about it because in the end, it's not like he can. It's not like he would. Even if Ritsuka could show him that he had a choice, he wouldn't have the heart to abandon them when they still need him. He can't be too selfish.
But he feels Elmott right in front of him, comfortable enough to reach out to him like this, and he doesn't want to ruin this.]
That would be nice, wouldn't it? [His smile doesn't reach his eyes, but it tries.] If everyone could stay here, a lot of our problems would go away, just like that.
Not that it's a problem... Servants are just ghosts, anyway. They're never supposed to stay for long. The same goes for everything else, right?
[ They're never supposed to stay for long. The same goes for everything else, right?
something cold sinks into his stomach, leaves a sort of bitter taste in his mouth despite the bacon and toast he had earlier. yan qing isn't wrong; they may not be the same, but it applies to them both — one day he too will burn out like his flames, returning to the ash it came from. staying here wouldn't allow him to escape that fate either, if he somehow doesn't make it back first. ]
Guess so. [ that's the thing about connections, sometimes they can still break no matter how much you want to hold onto them. elmott had known from the start that all of this would be temporary, but it didn't stop him anyway. ] You're kind of a pain in the ass for a ghost, though.
[ his tone is dry, but he looks up at yan qing through his lashes, fighting down the beginnings of a smile. ]
But I guess that's how I'll remember you, even after you leave.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ he's always been the one running after everyone, always making sure they're okay. he goes off to protect them on his own despite how he tells them to ask for help when they need it. maybe he should learn to take his own advice sometimes. ]
You say I got you, but you're taking on everything yourself. [ he moves back just enough to see yan qing's face, tucks an errant lock of hair behind his ear. ] That ain't fair either. If you're gonna protect me, you gotta let me do the same for you too.
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Protect... me?
[He feels a lump in his throat. No one's ever told him that before.
The question is quiet.]
You'll protect me? Even after what I did to you?
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[ he sighs, expression too fond for it to really mean anything. but his chest aches at the way yan qing asks him, the open expression of surprise on his face. ]
It wasn't your fault, all right? So quit trying to blame yourself all the time.
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He is free, and he is loved.]
Thank you. [His voice cracks.] Thank you... You don't know how much that means to me.
[Soft lips gingerly press against Elmott's knuckles, his words barely above a whisper as he shows Elmott a smile of newfound warmth.]
I swear I'll never leave your side.
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he watches yan qing's lips brush his knuckles almost in slow motion and can't seem to pull away in time despite it happening in front of him. the kiss sends sparks straight up his hand and his arm, and he doesn't know if it's the chroma or something else but it makes his entire face flame up, his heart jumping right into his throat. it's too much, the way yan qing smiles at him, the things he says; the promise that he makes. elmott has never expected anything from anyone, he knows how he is, but the amount of sincerity in yan qing's voice makes him feel lightheaded all over again. ]
You don't need to do that either, [ he manages eventually, rubbing his face with his free hand in an effort to cool off. ] Look, all that stuff about how you don't deserve kindness or whatever? How you owe me for doing what I did? That's all bullshit. Don't tell me what to do. And I'll roast your ass if I ever catch you thinking it again, got it?
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[So it was this. This was the kind of thing he was looking for. Unabashed. Unconditional. Maybe one day, Elmott will grow tired of his company, but right now, he can't see it happening. There are stars in his eyes, and though Elmott has a hand over his face, Yan Qing can't bring himself to look anywhere else. For once, it's not about how much he owes or what he deserves now.]
I think I might miss you, though.
[Until Elmott tells him to, he won't let go of his hand.]
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[ only yan qing can make him say that and it somehow comes out like a term of endearment rather than an insult. but elmott doesn't let go either and the fluttery feeling in his chest remains, even after he pulls yan qing up onto the couch next to him with a quiet c'mere, wrapping his free arm around him to pull him close. he remembers closing his eyes, but he doesn't remember falling asleep until the sun filters through the blinds and hits him square in the face the next morning.
he wakes up alone, yan qing switched out for one of his pillows instead. it doesn't hurt anymore when he tries to sit up though, and when he checks out his injuries in the bathroom, there's nothing but a few faint scars left.
he debates with himself for at least five minutes, but eventually he does end up sending a text, ]
You were right about the hand holding thing.
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Cooking, cooking at Elmott's place~ Second best to~ [hold on let him text before flipping the bacon] Sleeping at Elmott's place~
[Yan Qing shut up. Anyway, this is his text:]
I'm always rite lol
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he had the bathroom door closed and jumped in the shower immediately so he wouldn't have to feel weird about waiting to see if yan qing would text him back or not. so much happened yesterday, none of it actually feels real. it's only until he picks up on the scent of bacon that makes him pause, and then squint in the direction of his kitchen. ]
No.
[ anyway, he's showered and changed and already has a cigarette in his mouth when he makes his way to the little kitchen, pausing in the doorway once he catches sight of yan qing. it takes him a second to realize he's the one cooking, and that he has a really nice singing voice... and that if this is actually a dream, he doesn't mind staying asleep for a while longer. it's hard not to smile. ]
Who said you could use my kitchen, huh?
[ he comes up behind yan qing to steal a piece of bacon, not even bothered by the heat when he pops it in his mouth. ]
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Ahhh, don't eat that! [Yet he lets Elmott eat the crunchy piece of bacon, only waving the spatula as he scolds him.] If your tongue gets burnt before you get a taste of my stupidly delicious cooking, that ain't on me.
[His voice tickles his ear despite the distance, and that's when Yan Qing is made acutely aware of how tall Elmott is. He always has his back slouched, and they'd always been sitting down whenever they'd ride his bike, so Yan Qing hadn't quite noticed until now. Even as the scent of breakfast wafts across the room, he can smell Elmott's shampoo—
Well, anyway.]
You oughta thank me! [In petty revenge, he swipes Elmott's cigarette and puts it between his own lips.] Judgin' by the looks of this place, it ain't everyday you get someone to cook for ya. I used to work in a mansion, you know. My recipes are high class! Iiii just don't wanna cook if I can help it. Now siddown. Breakfast's the most important meal of the day!
[The bacon goes onto their plates, already decorated with pieces of toast and two sunny-side up eggs, and he serves them both on the small table Elmott has propped up.]
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elmott leans against the counter next to him while he cooks, hiding his smile under the guise of chewing on that crispy piece of bacon. he doesn't usually have someone cooking for him, so it's... nice, in a way, that yan qing wanted to do it on his own volition. but maybe the simpler answer is that he just likes the way yan qing looks in his kitchen and how he fills the negative space, bringing more color and vibrancy into his apartment since he moved in the first day. ]
All right, master chef. No one's doubting you.
[ besides, he can tell just from the smell alone that it's good. or maybe it's just because it was made by yan qing. by the time the food is served, elmott has tea ready, and it all feels very domestic — much more intimate than sharing meals with the crew. the embarrassment he'd normally have is undermined by how unexpectedly nice it all is, and he figures he might as well enjoy it for as long as he can. ]
It's good, though. [ the table is small enough that if elmott stretches out his legs, his knee would easily brush yan qing's. he tries not to think about it too much. ] Why don't you wanna cook?
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'Cause it's a pain in the ass, duh.
[Yan Qing usually eats a little faster than Elmott does, but today he paces himself. He takes a little bite of his toast, takes a little bit of his egg. It's all for show in the end; Servants don't require food to sustain themselves anyway. But if it makes Elmott feel at ease, he'll gladly take his time. It seems to be working, and it's not just Elmott who feels that way.
He takes a bite, and in his delight, bumps knees with Elmott in the process.]
Oh, you're right! Hehe. [He was praised...] I don't need to eat, anyway. I eat whatever I want whenever I want.
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but it's there in the way yan qing's knee bumps against his, in the way he takes his time today despite the fact he doesn't need to. ]
Thanks for the meal, then.
[ it's not the first time they've eaten together, but it's the first time yan qing's made him anything. and maybe that says something too, something that makes his chest tighten again in the same sort of way yan qing has always made him feel.
he lets his knee linger against yan qing's, swallows down the bacon and the egg and the weird fluttery feeling. ]
What do you need, if you don't need to eat?
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He figures he should be honest.]
Sex.
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so he chokes on it, and manages to avoid getting it on yan qing and instead gets it all over the remains of his breakfast. nailed it. ]
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I'm kidding! I'm kidding! Sort of. Hahaha, should I make you another plate?
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No. [ he is going to steal a piece of toast off yan qing's plate tho. he deserves this ok. ] Quit messin' with me.
[ huffs....... ]
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Aww. But you got excited, didn't you? That's nasty, El. Hahahaha! [literally just make him shut up please] ...I don't think I ever told you what I am. You know about familiars, doncha?
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[ he chews the toast with a little more hostility than necessary, willing his face to cool down. it doesn't really work but he's trying. more importantly, what yq says is a good distraction at least. ]
Not that much, but yeah. [ like anila's sheep maybe?? ] Is that what you are?
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Something like that. [He takes a sip of his tea.] I'm a Servant. Hmm, how do I put it... A Servant can be aaaanything from history or myth brought to life. Usually, mages summon these types to duke it out in wars, and they're pretty high-level, you know? But my circumstances are a bit different this time around. In other words, I ain't human and it's a miracle I ain't dead yet.
[He leans back.]
But Servants are pretty strong... I can't imagine why a mage would risk their life to go up against one. [hint hint]
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[ it's clear that he doesn't seem to be a fan of it, but mages come in all types. it's not his place to pass judgement on magic he isn't familiar with. but that doesn't mean he has to like it. ]
Yeah, well. [ wow don't call him out like this?? ] Not all mages are the same. Some are dumber than the rest.
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Well... This time around, we're fighting something even greater. Billions of lives are at stake and all that. But I'm here for the time being, so until I go back... I gotta make the most of this, I guess.
[This, meaning this particular moment, the momentary warmth — everything. Before he has to go back to the cold reality of the Lostbelts, he has to try and commit everything here to memory.]
Haha. Sorry, that's pretty heavy for breakfast conversation, ain't it? Why don't we talk about something else?
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[ but that sounds familiar, if only because that's a regular day in the life of djeeta's crew. something is always threatening the skies and it's up to the singularity to save the sky dwellers, etc. but elmott had chose this of his own volition, from what it sounds like, yan qing didn't have that luxury.
he picks at the leftovers of yan qing's plate, tapping the side of his foot against yan qing's shin without really thinking about it. ]
... You ever thought of staying here, if you could have that choice?
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But he feels Elmott right in front of him, comfortable enough to reach out to him like this, and he doesn't want to ruin this.]
That would be nice, wouldn't it? [His smile doesn't reach his eyes, but it tries.] If everyone could stay here, a lot of our problems would go away, just like that.
Not that it's a problem... Servants are just ghosts, anyway. They're never supposed to stay for long. The same goes for everything else, right?
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something cold sinks into his stomach, leaves a sort of bitter taste in his mouth despite the bacon and toast he had earlier. yan qing isn't wrong; they may not be the same, but it applies to them both — one day he too will burn out like his flames, returning to the ash it came from. staying here wouldn't allow him to escape that fate either, if he somehow doesn't make it back first. ]
Guess so. [ that's the thing about connections, sometimes they can still break no matter how much you want to hold onto them. elmott had known from the start that all of this would be temporary, but it didn't stop him anyway. ] You're kind of a pain in the ass for a ghost, though.
[ his tone is dry, but he looks up at yan qing through his lashes, fighting down the beginnings of a smile. ]
But I guess that's how I'll remember you, even after you leave.
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