[He doesn't actually want to show up, but now he's thinking about it just because he wants to know what she'll do.
Because he's terrible.]
Wahahaha! Okay. Though he diligently brushes his teeth everyday (for his Master's sake), this ruffian with allegedly bad breath won't say another word about the otaku on the other end of this call.
... Hmm, I don't want to answer any joke booty calls from lonely, beautiful women at the moment, but I'm kind of bored right now.
[ Jeanne spins around in her $399 Gaming Chair(tm) just to make sure Yan Qing hasn't somehow snuck into her room with Presence Concealment. ]
If the first thing you think about me is that I'm lonely and beautiful [ and weeb but ignore that, even though they're all true ] then maybe I'm not the one who needs a booty call in the first place.
Don't have a next time! You can stick with your stinky, shirtless self!
[ Gilles is one of about three people in the entire world that Jeanne Alter likes without reservations, so she's weirdly protective of him. It goes both ways of course. ]
Did I even invite you in? This is my room?
[ She paid for it by kicking people, actually, but she's not going to tell anyone about her first experience with weird fetishes. ]
[ Of course, saying that out loud while shirtless doesn't make anyone in this room feel better. He saunters in, slithering about the room as a smarmy individual like himself does. ]
I'm just checking on my third favorite Avenger. Also I was wondering if you had any food. [ That he could yoink. So he is here to steal things, actually. ]
[ He has nothing to say to that. Probably because it's true. Please don't talk to gangsters. ]
I already told you. I'm bored! Just because we don't need to eat doesn't mean we can't. [ Casually scouring the place for chips or instant ramen or something that doesn't take more than hot water and three minutes to prepare. ] Don't you want a guy with a six-pack lying on your couch while you go about your business?
[ She has too many chocolates in her fridge and too much coffee on the shelf. Why is she like that? ]
I would have to seriously consider pissing on you if you were on fire, why would I offer up my food just for your boredom? Besides, I wanted to watch TV, so if you lied on my couch I would just end up sitting on your chest!
[ Why IS she like that? Oh well. He nicks a few chocolates from the fridge and pops one in his mouth. ]
Damn, I'm getting cavities just looking at this. I dunno, Alter. That sounds like a you problem.
[ Which means he probably shouldn't let her do it, but she calls him stinky so he thinks it's warranted. ]
Fine, fine. Since it looks like you spent all your money on sweets and seats, I'll sit on the floor and order us a pizza from the goodness of my heart. Do you like pineapple?
[ In that moment, Yan Qing further confirms that Jeanne truly is evil. This was already clear, though. Without wincing, he begrudgingly places an order for Hawaiian pizza... ]
Unfortunately, femdom is only in my list of maybes. [ It's actually a yes, he's just scared of Alters. ] I ain't paying for something I kind of want.
[ He sits on a spot on the floor where Jeanne can't crush him between her legs, resting his back against the couch. ]
Like coffee! Just because I can drink all the coffee in the world doesn't mean I should. [ He tilts his head back to look up at her. ] But now I'm wondering what the hell you're staying up for! Even if we don't need caffeine to.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Maybe you're just too weeb?
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Wouldn't your arrival on my command be my getting booty by myself?
And I don't want to hear a word about my hobbies from a kidnapper with bad breath!
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Because he's terrible.]
Wahahaha! Okay. Though he diligently brushes his teeth everyday (for his Master's sake), this ruffian with allegedly bad breath won't say another word about the otaku on the other end of this call.
... Hmm, I don't want to answer any joke booty calls from lonely, beautiful women at the moment, but I'm kind of bored right now.
Surprise visit!
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If the first thing you think about me is that I'm lonely and beautiful [ and weeb but ignore that, even though they're all true ] then maybe I'm not the one who needs a booty call in the first place.
Are you sexually frustrated?
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Yet.
But he is casually leaping between rooftops.]
Who? Me? No way. I don't want to hear that from a virgin. This is just who I am. And who I am is a person who has more sex than you!
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[Oh. Hm. Yeah, telling her what happened a few nights ago would be a bad idea.]
...don't actually have a comeback for that. But! Just like how you have impossibly high standards for men, I've got my own set of rules.
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[ She just wants a cute fairy tale romance? Or some otome game shit. She hasn't decided. ]
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[ She should really check her curtain. ]
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[ She sighs as she pulls the curtain aside. ]
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JEANNE!!!!! Oh! Oh, what a joyous day to be summoned by the Holy Maiden—
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[ Her sword jumps into her hand and is driven right through the window, stabbing right at totally not Gilles' eyes. ]
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You almost killed me!
[ But that's happened more than once after a stunt like this, so no one really knows what he's upset about. ]
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[ Jeanne is clearly somewhat unhappy about the "almost" part. ]
Gilles would come in through the front door, you idiot. Change back, this is gross.
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He gets back onto his feet and without waiting for Jeanne's cue, invites himself in. ]
Woah, nice chair. How many sweaty-palmed otaku didja hold hands with for that one?
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[ Gilles is one of about three people in the entire world that Jeanne Alter likes without reservations, so she's weirdly protective of him. It goes both ways of course. ]
Did I even invite you in? This is my room?
[ She paid for it by kicking people, actually, but she's not going to tell anyone about her first experience with weird fetishes. ]
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[ Of course, saying that out loud while shirtless doesn't make anyone in this room feel better. He saunters in, slithering about the room as a smarmy individual like himself does. ]
I'm just checking on my third favorite Avenger. Also I was wondering if you had any food. [ That he could yoink. So he is here to steal things, actually. ]
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[ Not that she's especially virtuous a person, but you know what she means you sleazeball. ]
It's not like we need to eat, so why are you here trying to mooch my food?
[ Servants and all. She does have food, but she's not exactly bringing out the banquet table for somebody who climbed in through her window. ]
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I already told you. I'm bored! Just because we don't need to eat doesn't mean we can't. [ Casually scouring the place for chips or instant ramen or something that doesn't take more than hot water and three minutes to prepare. ] Don't you want a guy with a six-pack lying on your couch while you go about your business?
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I would have to seriously consider pissing on you if you were on fire, why would I offer up my food just for your boredom? Besides, I wanted to watch TV, so if you lied on my couch I would just end up sitting on your chest!
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Damn, I'm getting cavities just looking at this. I dunno, Alter. That sounds like a you problem.
[ Which means he probably shouldn't let her do it, but she calls him stinky so he thinks it's warranted. ]
Fine, fine. Since it looks like you spent all your money on sweets and seats, I'll sit on the floor and order us a pizza from the goodness of my heart. Do you like pineapple?
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[ She's going to plop herself on the couch, arms spread wide across to claim as much real estate as possible. ]
I like Hawaiian, even if it wasn't made in Hawaii. But you know, some people would pay good money for someone like me to sit on them.
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[ In that moment, Yan Qing further confirms that Jeanne truly is evil. This was already clear, though. Without wincing, he begrudgingly places an order for Hawaiian pizza... ]
Unfortunately, femdom is only in my list of maybes. [ It's actually a yes, he's just scared of Alters. ] I ain't paying for something I kind of want.
[ He sits on a spot on the floor where Jeanne can't crush him between her legs, resting his back against the couch. ]
Like coffee! Just because I can drink all the coffee in the world doesn't mean I should. [ He tilts his head back to look up at her. ] But now I'm wondering what the hell you're staying up for! Even if we don't need caffeine to.
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