[ He is immediately harder in Elmott's hand, the velvet skin and ink warm to the touch, and a sultry laugh low in Yan Qing's throat tickles Elmott's mouth when they kiss a second time. Elmott can call him stupid all he likes, but his honesty is all Yan Qing wants. Words hold power over a person more than anything else. Yan Qing should know. When Elmott touches him and says what he likes to hear, he can only moan into their kiss and hope Elmott feels it. ]
That wasn't so bad. [ Yan Qing licks his lips, if only to savor the taste and let him watch. ] You're doing better. Just pretend you're getting yourself off. You do that, don't you?
[ He wonders what he thinks about when he does. His leg hooks around Elmott's waist after a wave of pleasure, and a hand threads into crimson hair as he murmurs Elmott's name and how he likes it. Harder, tighter, like that. He'll memorize it all in time. For now, all Yan Qing wants to focus on is the proximity between their mouths and the ways they can close it. ]
[ it's a little concerning how he thinks anything yan qing does is sultry. he laughs into his mouth and elmott nips at his bottom lip, sharp canines digging just a little into the swell of it to make it sting. yan qing is hot in his grip and elmott tries to pay attention to what he says and what he likes, separating the meaning from how they feel murmured against his skin. ]
Shut up, I do. [ he doesn't. not really. not because he doesn't want to, it just wasn't something he felt like doing and he wouldn't even know what to think about during. he'd been alone for so long and his world had only begun to expand recently; physical intimacy like this is a foreign concept he'd never considered before. flatly, as much as he can sound while giving a handjob: ] I guess I've got a good teacher then, huh.
[ but really, this isn't fair. there's no denying that yan qing is beautiful — even someone like him can see that and appreciate it. what makes it difficult is the fact that he's looking at him like this, that it's his hand on yan qing's dick rather than someone else; it's his hair that yan qing's hand is tangled in and elmott's heart clenches so sharply it almost hurts. he won't be able to do this with anyone else, because yan qing would be the only one he sees, and his voice would be the only one he hears. ]
[ It shouldn't matter what Elmott's done or with whom. Elmott chose to touch him despite himself, despite themselves, and that's all he should think about. But Yan Qing knows his demons more than anybody. The sting of his lip spurs him to think: if he isn't the only one, he should be the first. If he isn't the first, he should be the best. The best are never forgotten. Elmott says he's learning and Yan Qing pulls him in to show him how they can be better. Their foreheads press together and Yan Qing can feel the sweat that's begun to trickle down his temples, down his neck, the heat conquering the space between them and everything it touches. He prays it burns his image into Elmott's mind. ]
Yeah, [ he says, his wet lips just barely touching Elmott's own with every word. ] you're in good hands.
[ His touch is rough yet gentle as it moves down the firm and tight build a mage shouldn't have, committing Elmott's life and body to memory. The man before him shouldn't be so strong. If he won't share the burden, then Yan Qing knows what he has to do.
To distract him, all it takes is a kiss.
While his lips are on his, Yan Qing pulls Elmott's waistband down, takes Elmott's hand away, and realizes their hips have never been closer when he wraps his grip around their cocks. ]
[ a laugh bubbles up from his chest that gets lost in the kiss— you're in good hands, literally and figuratively, as yan qing's touch travels down his torso. elmott is not nearly as fit as yan qing, or even majority of the people in the crew, but he's been through enough in his life, carried his regrets and burdens long enough that he had to adapt in other ways outside of his magic. there's scars tattooed along his body, skin discolored in various places when he was still learning how to control his fire; those never leave or fade over time, as permanent as the ink etched into yan qing's skin.
maybe it's strength, or maybe he's just too stubborn to give in when he should, too quick to lay his life and body on the line for others when he doesn't have anything else left to give.
but none of that matters. yan qing has his hand around both of them and all the air rushes out of his lungs in one breath, as if yan qing had punched him in the gut like he did in the amphitheater. for a second, elmott's fingers grasp at nothing before he blindly reaches for yan qing's bicep, remembering to breathe as he blinks his eyes open again. now that he knows what to expect, he isn't immediately getting off, but there's still something about seeing yan qing's hand wrapped around them, his tattooed length pressed against his that makes his pulse race. elmott runs hot on principle, but yan qing feels so warm to him, his grip sure and steady, and he finds himself close again despite coming not that long ago. ]
What, you gonna time it? [ he slides his hand up yan qing's arm, following the curve of muscle until he passes the delicate rise of his clavicle, curling around the back of his neck. it's concerning how he finds he can't stop kissing yan qing. ] What if I can't wait?
[ because he doesn't think he can, not for very long. not with the way yan qing has already taken hold of his body and his heart. ]
Then I'll kick your ass, that's what. [ He laughs as he tightens his grip.
It's hard to focus.
He has Elmott where he needs him and on most days, that's enough to fill the void. But he's been greedy lately, meeting Elmott's eyes with a hunger he is afraid to satisfy. He doesn't like it. He knows this part of him too well: once he's gotten a taste of a good thing, he'll do anything in his power to have it. Elmott has seen him at his worst, closing off his heart to protect what's important, but he hasn't seen what he's like when he's scared to lose it all. There is a reason he hasn't given a name to all this: his tender lips preoccupied with the warmth of their kiss, the feeling that rises to his chest when Elmott touches his skin. The slow and steady pump of his hand makes him all too aware of themselves, hot and thick in his palm, and it lets them feel what they can't put into words.
More. ]
Almost there, El. Think we should let the neighbors know?
[ Another chuckle escapes him before he curses under his breath, the pleasure nearly making him keel over as his hand moves with purpose. Over and over, he says Elmott's name like a mantra, and it's as if the world is closing in on him until there is nothing left but the sound of their voices and the sensation of sweat on skin. If they are found, so be it. He doesn't care about anything else. ]
[ except don't, because yan qing's voice always does something to him that he both really likes and hates, low and sinuous as it curls into his ear and slides hot down his spine. it leaves goosebumps in its wake, makes him sink his fingers into yan qing's long hair just to have something to hold on to, because he feels like he can float away at any second. it's worse still every time he says his name, like it's the only thing he can think about, and it makes elmott's heart race for every reason other than yan qing's hand on his dick.
he's in over his head and in too deep, and it's resignation that settles in his chest rather than fear or regret, like he's finally free of whatever hesitation that had held him back since the moment yan qing breezed into his life. it doesn't matter anyway, he thinks, not when they could disappear without a moment's notice, not when there's a chance he may forget about all this whenever he finds his way back home. what's the point, when he could pull yan qing forward instead, something desperate in the way he kisses him, harder and messy and open-mouthed, because he doesn't want to wait any longer.
there's a guttural moan that gets lost between their lips, a pulse and a throb before he's floating, still kissing yan qing like it's all he knows how to do at the moment. ]
[He obliges. They both don't have long. Yan Qing knows that more than anyone. When servants are no longer needed, their masters let them go. It's the same wherever he goes. So it doesn't matter if he wants to stay here, now, in this moment in time where they both exist without the guilt of leaving something behind. Elmott's kiss enraptures Yan Qing the way he never thought he'd be, melting in the hot, desperate passion of it all as he feels himself throb against him. There is no sadness, no pity. He no longer has the time for ambiguity, either. All he wants is his name on Elmott's tongue, and he gives him so much more. His hands in his hair, his hands joining them together — Elmott assails his senses and he can barely hold it together. That feeling he can't name — is this what it's like? When Elmott's voice pours into his mouth, it burns like smoke and tastes like honey, and he can't help but respond in kind. It is new, it is his, and it is all it takes to send Yan Qing over the edge with him.
Sticky with sweat and come, his hand remains where it is, the rest of him lightheaded and preoccupied with Elmott's lips.]
See? [he gasps, his mind still grasping for some semblance of reality. His shoulders rise and fall along with his steady breaths.] I knew you could do it.
[He then closes his eyes, pressing their foreheads together with a face finally at ease. Even now, he searches for the same warmth Elmott gave him all those nights ago.]
Did you like it? Should we do this more often? I'll do whatever you want me to, El. I...
[He lets the word hang in the air, praying that Elmott doesn't realize the things he has yet to accept.]
[ yan qing presses their foreheads together and for the first time since he'd arrived in lunatia, he finally feels some semblance of peace. a warm sort of drowsiness settles in his muscles and bones, a lazy contentment that makes him want to lie down next to him and sleep for a while. maybe it's just the afterglow, or maybe he just likes it a lot when yan qing stays even when he doesn't have to.
there's a lot of things they could say, half-formed thoughts drifting in and out of his mind in between glimpses of yan qing's face, the expression he made when he tumbled off the edge with him. it's something he won't forget even if he wanted to, and it should be scary, should make him want to reestablish the distance between them until yan qing relentlessly bridged the gap. but he can't find it in himself to really feel anything beyond relief, relishing in the simple pleasure of being able to tilt his head just a little to kiss him for no other reason than he wants to and that he can. ]
Enough about what I want. [ yan qing's eyes are bright in the dim light, softer than he's used to seeing them. it makes him look a little younger almost, less jaded and weary, softening the angles of his face. ] I'll take anything you give me.
Yet there is something in the way that Elmott's eyes flutter open the moment after his lips close the distance between them, something prying him open with a gentleness he's never known, and he lets it happen. As a boy, he'd always thought that to give meant to expect something in return. When he never received anything, he resolved to never give himself to anyone. He was a fool. Why would did he expect anything? There was nothing a ghost of a scoundrel like him could ever give to a kind stranger who had yet to live a single lifetime. But when Elmott takes him by the hand before he asks, he thinks what he could give would never be enough.
Yan Qing meets Elmott's earnest amber eyes and he is suddenly shy, feeling centuries younger as he takes back the youth he'd lost to duty and a one track mind. His cheeks grow hot under Elmott's gaze. He pushes against Elmott's chest in embarrassment as his heart skips a beat. Is this what it means to be carefree? The shadow of Elmott's face makes him look a little older when he draws toward him, the man's words like smoke as he tells him all he's ever wanted to hear, and for once, Yan Qing feels he doesn't have to shoulder anything alone.
His voice trembles, and he has never felt more vulnerable. ]
[ it's almost funny in a way, how this is what makes yan qing embarrassed rather than everything else they've done up to this point. elmott has never thought of himself as someone who could make people feel shy in this way, someone who could make them blush, their heart race; color their cheek with the same redness that always shows up on his own. he presses his fingertips lightly to the delicate curve of yan qing's cheekbone, quietly marveling at how warm it feels, and something swells in his chest to fill every part of his body— not the heat from desire (not entirely), but something softer. something sweeter. ]
You've been holding me this whole time, haven't you? [ his chuckle is light, just as his hands that settle on yan qing's waist, coaxing him closer again. ] You don't gotta ask.
[ but when has yan qing ever asked him for anything? he takes what he wants whenever he wants. elmott has always envied him for having the audacity to do so, to be bold in knowing what he wants and taking it without second guessing himself. outside of his magic, outside of battle and instruction, elmott holds himself back too often. maybe that's how they work, and maybe that's why even though yan qing's voice wavers, elmott's doesn't.
he leans in, pressing his lips gently to one pink cheek. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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That wasn't so bad. [ Yan Qing licks his lips, if only to savor the taste and let him watch. ] You're doing better. Just pretend you're getting yourself off. You do that, don't you?
[ He wonders what he thinks about when he does. His leg hooks around Elmott's waist after a wave of pleasure, and a hand threads into crimson hair as he murmurs Elmott's name and how he likes it. Harder, tighter, like that. He'll memorize it all in time. For now, all Yan Qing wants to focus on is the proximity between their mouths and the ways they can close it. ]
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Shut up, I do. [ he doesn't. not really. not because he doesn't want to, it just wasn't something he felt like doing and he wouldn't even know what to think about during. he'd been alone for so long and his world had only begun to expand recently; physical intimacy like this is a foreign concept he'd never considered before. flatly, as much as he can sound while giving a handjob: ] I guess I've got a good teacher then, huh.
[ but really, this isn't fair. there's no denying that yan qing is beautiful — even someone like him can see that and appreciate it. what makes it difficult is the fact that he's looking at him like this, that it's his hand on yan qing's dick rather than someone else; it's his hair that yan qing's hand is tangled in and elmott's heart clenches so sharply it almost hurts. he won't be able to do this with anyone else, because yan qing would be the only one he sees, and his voice would be the only one he hears. ]
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Yeah, [ he says, his wet lips just barely touching Elmott's own with every word. ] you're in good hands.
[ His touch is rough yet gentle as it moves down the firm and tight build a mage shouldn't have, committing Elmott's life and body to memory. The man before him shouldn't be so strong. If he won't share the burden, then Yan Qing knows what he has to do.
To distract him, all it takes is a kiss.
While his lips are on his, Yan Qing pulls Elmott's waistband down, takes Elmott's hand away, and realizes their hips have never been closer when he wraps his grip around their cocks. ]
So let's do it together.
no subject
maybe it's strength, or maybe he's just too stubborn to give in when he should, too quick to lay his life and body on the line for others when he doesn't have anything else left to give.
but none of that matters. yan qing has his hand around both of them and all the air rushes out of his lungs in one breath, as if yan qing had punched him in the gut like he did in the amphitheater. for a second, elmott's fingers grasp at nothing before he blindly reaches for yan qing's bicep, remembering to breathe as he blinks his eyes open again. now that he knows what to expect, he isn't immediately getting off, but there's still something about seeing yan qing's hand wrapped around them, his tattooed length pressed against his that makes his pulse race. elmott runs hot on principle, but yan qing feels so warm to him, his grip sure and steady, and he finds himself close again despite coming not that long ago. ]
What, you gonna time it? [ he slides his hand up yan qing's arm, following the curve of muscle until he passes the delicate rise of his clavicle, curling around the back of his neck. it's concerning how he finds he can't stop kissing yan qing. ] What if I can't wait?
[ because he doesn't think he can, not for very long. not with the way yan qing has already taken hold of his body and his heart. ]
no subject
It's hard to focus.
He has Elmott where he needs him and on most days, that's enough to fill the void. But he's been greedy lately, meeting Elmott's eyes with a hunger he is afraid to satisfy. He doesn't like it. He knows this part of him too well: once he's gotten a taste of a good thing, he'll do anything in his power to have it. Elmott has seen him at his worst, closing off his heart to protect what's important, but he hasn't seen what he's like when he's scared to lose it all. There is a reason he hasn't given a name to all this: his tender lips preoccupied with the warmth of their kiss, the feeling that rises to his chest when Elmott touches his skin. The slow and steady pump of his hand makes him all too aware of themselves, hot and thick in his palm, and it lets them feel what they can't put into words.
More. ]
Almost there, El. Think we should let the neighbors know?
[ Another chuckle escapes him before he curses under his breath, the pleasure nearly making him keel over as his hand moves with purpose. Over and over, he says Elmott's name like a mantra, and it's as if the world is closing in on him until there is nothing left but the sound of their voices and the sensation of sweat on skin. If they are found, so be it. He doesn't care about anything else. ]
no subject
[ except don't, because yan qing's voice always does something to him that he both really likes and hates, low and sinuous as it curls into his ear and slides hot down his spine. it leaves goosebumps in its wake, makes him sink his fingers into yan qing's long hair just to have something to hold on to, because he feels like he can float away at any second. it's worse still every time he says his name, like it's the only thing he can think about, and it makes elmott's heart race for every reason other than yan qing's hand on his dick.
he's in over his head and in too deep, and it's resignation that settles in his chest rather than fear or regret, like he's finally free of whatever hesitation that had held him back since the moment yan qing breezed into his life. it doesn't matter anyway, he thinks, not when they could disappear without a moment's notice, not when there's a chance he may forget about all this whenever he finds his way back home. what's the point, when he could pull yan qing forward instead, something desperate in the way he kisses him, harder and messy and open-mouthed, because he doesn't want to wait any longer.
there's a guttural moan that gets lost between their lips, a pulse and a throb before he's floating, still kissing yan qing like it's all he knows how to do at the moment. ]
no subject
Sticky with sweat and come, his hand remains where it is, the rest of him lightheaded and preoccupied with Elmott's lips.]
See? [he gasps, his mind still grasping for some semblance of reality. His shoulders rise and fall along with his steady breaths.] I knew you could do it.
[He then closes his eyes, pressing their foreheads together with a face finally at ease. Even now, he searches for the same warmth Elmott gave him all those nights ago.]
Did you like it? Should we do this more often? I'll do whatever you want me to, El. I...
[He lets the word hang in the air, praying that Elmott doesn't realize the things he has yet to accept.]
no subject
there's a lot of things they could say, half-formed thoughts drifting in and out of his mind in between glimpses of yan qing's face, the expression he made when he tumbled off the edge with him. it's something he won't forget even if he wanted to, and it should be scary, should make him want to reestablish the distance between them until yan qing relentlessly bridged the gap. but he can't find it in himself to really feel anything beyond relief, relishing in the simple pleasure of being able to tilt his head just a little to kiss him for no other reason than he wants to and that he can. ]
Enough about what I want. [ yan qing's eyes are bright in the dim light, softer than he's used to seeing them. it makes him look a little younger almost, less jaded and weary, softening the angles of his face. ] I'll take anything you give me.
no subject
Yet there is something in the way that Elmott's eyes flutter open the moment after his lips close the distance between them, something prying him open with a gentleness he's never known, and he lets it happen. As a boy, he'd always thought that to give meant to expect something in return. When he never received anything, he resolved to never give himself to anyone. He was a fool. Why would did he expect anything? There was nothing a ghost of a scoundrel like him could ever give to a kind stranger who had yet to live a single lifetime. But when Elmott takes him by the hand before he asks, he thinks what he could give would never be enough.
Yan Qing meets Elmott's earnest amber eyes and he is suddenly shy, feeling centuries younger as he takes back the youth he'd lost to duty and a one track mind. His cheeks grow hot under Elmott's gaze. He pushes against Elmott's chest in embarrassment as his heart skips a beat. Is this what it means to be carefree? The shadow of Elmott's face makes him look a little older when he draws toward him, the man's words like smoke as he tells him all he's ever wanted to hear, and for once, Yan Qing feels he doesn't have to shoulder anything alone.
His voice trembles, and he has never felt more vulnerable. ]
Can I hold you?
no subject
You've been holding me this whole time, haven't you? [ his chuckle is light, just as his hands that settle on yan qing's waist, coaxing him closer again. ] You don't gotta ask.
[ but when has yan qing ever asked him for anything? he takes what he wants whenever he wants. elmott has always envied him for having the audacity to do so, to be bold in knowing what he wants and taking it without second guessing himself. outside of his magic, outside of battle and instruction, elmott holds himself back too often. maybe that's how they work, and maybe that's why even though yan qing's voice wavers, elmott's doesn't.
he leans in, pressing his lips gently to one pink cheek. ]
I'm here.