[ titus remembers something along the lines of this sensation from many months ago, although back then he was hugging yan qing (a.k.a. his ripped teddy bear) around the middle with his arms... and right now he's hugging him around the middle with his legs... (and also hugging him around the neck with his arms, but not squeezing too tight, because then yan qing would choke and die maybe) ]
Amazing!! What about you?
[ who said some melancholy shit about how lonely he felt less than five minutes ago? Not Him. ]
From now on, instead of flying or walking, what if you just carry me everywhere like this?
Ehhhhh, what do you mean you can't? I think you can... after all, you are this strong and cool... [ he blows on yan qing's ear a little. no real reason, just because it's right there. ]
I never knew you could leap like this. Is that because you are a legendary hero?
[He blushes and nearly loses balance upon landing because what the fuck. They will stop here, on a rooftop overlooking the city... He doesn't want to drop Titus. (Though he could probably save them with his magic, but whatever.]
Ahaha! It's a little more complicated than that... I said I wasn't human now, remember?
[ he draws his arms a little tighter and wriggles his way up a bit so he can rest his chin on yan qing's shoulder and kinda make sideways eye contact ]
So it is an ability you gained only once you were summoned as a legendary hero and formed from mana...?
[He makes sideways eye contact back!] Damn, when you say it like that, reality starts to sound really weird. But yeah, pretty much!
[And they leap down, hopping from platform to platform down fire escapes, awnings and rooftops until they reach the ground. Still not letting Titus down, though.]
I gotta be careful, though. If I use up too much mana the way I am now, I'll... [No, let's not worry Titus. He shakes his head.] Well, it ain't a problem here!
[He adjusts his hold on Titus and starts walking again.]
But that's just the kind of existence I am. Ghosts ain't supposed to stick around for too long... After my work is done, I'll be gone 'til someone summons me again!
We really do have an awful lot in common, don't we?... [ though of course, once titus is gone, that'll be It... no matter how many more puppets lady scheherazade makes, he won't have any connection to them.
actually, now that he thinks about it... when he dies, will he even be able to join the great flow? or will he just return to being a part of scheherazade? will it be not only his life, but his entire existence as an independent being that comes to an end—obliterated, dissolved, like it had never existed in the first place?
...it seems likely. at any rate, it doesn't seem unlikely.
but what does it matter, really? it doesn't change anything about how he feels, or what he wants. it's not like he'd suddenly be okay with dying if he knew he'd get to retain some sense of self as nothing but rukh.
still. for a moment... it feels closer. a yawning emptiness... inescapable, inexorable... cold and sudden and final.
he tightens his grip on yan qing (with both arms and legs, of course), hungry all over again for the warmth and closeness. ]
[ Titus is thinking about it again. Yan Qing can tell. It's not like Servants don't know what that feels like. To know that your life will come to an end, and so soon — it is never anything he'd look forward to. But the difference between him and Titus is that he's already lived once and Titus's life has yet to begin. It's not fair.
But he has to keep smiling. ]
Don't worry about it. You're a genius, right? Maybe you can get someone to write a book about you too, hahahaha!
[ Because when even a hero loses hope, it's all over. ]
Or you could write it yourself. You got a good head on your shoulders, doncha? Even when it's filled with curry.
[ distractions always work at least, until the next time he's alone, lol ]
Oh—perhaps so! I suppose that is only the first step toward becoming legendary, though. Actually, I probably need to rack up some really incredible and heroic accomplishments first, too, right?... In any case it will be difficult for me to write anything now that I have decided to live here, on your back.
Hahahaha! You can't live on people's backs, Titus! Haha, you're like a baby... [But he doesn't sound annoyed?] Look, the shop's over there. If you're on my back, how are you supposed to eat?
It is easy. See, I can lean down this far... [ he does another shimmy up yan qing's back so he can stretch out his neck and rest his temple against yan qing's cheek (and his chin against his upper chest... and throat against his shoulder). ]
...and like this, it will be very convenient for you to feed me. If you grow tired of it, we can hire someone to take on the job. Interested parties please contact Titus Alexius, Yan Qing's Back, Lunatia.... Well, the ad will say "Shin's Back," but I'll know.
[ The good news is Yan Qing has good reflexes. The bad news is Titus is hanging from his shirt, the cloth straining against his body as Yan Qing grabs him before he slips off face first. Maybe it hurts a little? Or maybe it doesn't matter, because Titus's face is squished against Yan Qing's abs. Please do not move. He's begging you. ]
Jeez. Now what'd I tell ya? This is why I hate brats...
[ But this is awkward. He doesn't want Titus accidentally touching his peonies, so he adjusts his hold and starts carrying him in his arms like a princess. Hup! ]
[ he's obediently still and quietly thoughtful for the next several seconds, even as he nearly gets strangled by his own popped collar and then gets his nose smashed more or less directly into a belly button... he lets yan qing adjust his position, moving only to cooperate and then to duck his head to rest it against yan qing's chest. ]
Yan Qing... I have decided to update my address once more. I will not live on your back.
[He feels his ears grow hot when Titus leans against him. Receiving affection isn't quite his forte, but at times like these he's learned to let the people he likes do what they want. It's not like he hates it.]
Oh? I don't mind where you choose to live. Just make sure it ain't too far so I can come running.
Well, I am considering two different locations, so perhaps you can help me choose. The first is "Yan Qing's abs," and the second is "Yan Qing's arms"...
Yan Qing belongs to Lunatia, so I'm sorry to say both of those are public property, but! Being public property doesn't stop people from sleeping on benches, so do whatever you want.
Aha... so Yan Qing is something of a monument, or a site of cultural importance? I suppose it would not do for me to monopolize such a priceless spot... Then again, I feel like I am always doing whatever I want. This time, what I want is to do whatever you want.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i just noticed "hopes"......................
Amazing!!
What about you?
[ who said some melancholy shit about how lonely he felt less than five minutes ago? Not Him. ]
From now on, instead of flying or walking, what if you just carry me everywhere like this?
shh it never happened.....
[Even though that would be fun, actually. What matters is that Titus is feeling better.]
We're almost there. I can smell the curry from here...
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I never knew you could leap like this. Is that because you are a legendary hero?
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Ahaha! It's a little more complicated than that... I said I wasn't human now, remember?
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well unless that wasn't actually a reaction to titus at all, and he just didnt notice that a moth hit yan qing in the face, or something ]
Well, yes...
But I don't think most people who aren't human can do this.
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Yeah, I guess not! Ain't like I could do this before, either. Not when I was alive.
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So it is an ability you gained only once you were summoned as a legendary hero and formed from mana...?
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[And they leap down, hopping from platform to platform down fire escapes, awnings and rooftops until they reach the ground. Still not letting Titus down, though.]
I gotta be careful, though. If I use up too much mana the way I am now, I'll... [No, let's not worry Titus. He shakes his head.] Well, it ain't a problem here!
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ah but now they're having serious time ]
You'll... what?
Fall apart? Cease to exist? As dark secrets go, that is a rather familiar one.
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[He adjusts his hold on Titus and starts walking again.]
But that's just the kind of existence I am. Ghosts ain't supposed to stick around for too long... After my work is done, I'll be gone 'til someone summons me again!
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actually, now that he thinks about it...
when he dies, will he even be able to join the great flow? or will he just return to being a part of scheherazade? will it be not only his life, but his entire existence as an independent being that comes to an end—obliterated, dissolved, like it had never existed in the first place?
...it seems likely.
at any rate, it doesn't seem unlikely.
but what does it matter, really? it doesn't change anything about how he feels, or what he wants. it's not like he'd suddenly be okay with dying if he knew he'd get to retain some sense of self as nothing but rukh.
still. for a moment... it feels closer. a yawning emptiness... inescapable, inexorable... cold and sudden and final.
he tightens his grip on yan qing (with both arms and legs, of course), hungry all over again for the warmth and closeness. ]
Like you said... it is not a problem here.
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But he has to keep smiling. ]
Don't worry about it. You're a genius, right? Maybe you can get someone to write a book about you too, hahahaha!
[ Because when even a hero loses hope, it's all over. ]
Or you could write it yourself. You got a good head on your shoulders, doncha? Even when it's filled with curry.
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at least, until the next time he's alone, lol ]
Oh—perhaps so! I suppose that is only the first step toward becoming legendary, though.
Actually, I probably need to rack up some really incredible and heroic accomplishments first, too, right?...
In any case it will be difficult for me to write anything now that I have decided to live here, on your back.
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...and like this, it will be very convenient for you to feed me. If you grow tired of it, we can hire someone to take on the job. Interested parties please contact Titus Alexius, Yan Qing's Back, Lunatia....
Well, the ad will say "Shin's Back," but I'll know.
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[But he's personally not sure if he's more panicked by the danger or the sudden closeness. It's probably both.]
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You worry so much! Why would I f—
[ he falls ]
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Jeez. Now what'd I tell ya? This is why I hate brats...
[ But this is awkward. He doesn't want Titus accidentally touching his peonies, so he adjusts his hold and starts carrying him in his arms like a princess. Hup! ]
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he lets yan qing adjust his position, moving only to cooperate and then to duck his head to rest it against yan qing's chest. ]
Yan Qing...
I have decided to update my address once more. I will not live on your back.
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Oh? I don't mind where you choose to live. Just make sure it ain't too far so I can come running.
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Are either of those accepting tenants?
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Then again, I feel like I am always doing whatever I want. This time, what I want is to do whatever you want.